You Can’t Have All The Love From All The People

Isn’t it funny how birthdays, which are supposed to be a time for celebration and happiness, are often instances where we are faced with the harshest realities life has to offer us? This is probably why so many people say they hate birthdays and don’t like to celebrate them. On this one day, which is supposed to be all about you, there is so much than can lead to disappointment — and no matter how good your birthday might be, I feel like if it isn’t the fact that you’re turning a year older it’s the few people you thought would call, send flowers or even send you a personal message who end up doing none of the above.

Last week, I was lucky enough to celebrate my birthday with my boyfriend and a few friends lazing by the pool and enjoying copious amounts of tequila. However, even while being grateful for the opportunity to celebrate my birthday outside of my two-bedroom city apartment, the sting of those missed wishes and callous Instagram HBD’s was still present. If you’re lucky enough to know who your friends are, then you might not know what I’m talking about but I feel like every year there are a few people who I expect something from and end up getting nothing close. And I don’t mean I’m hoping for a cake and bouquet to be delivered to me but maybe a phone call?

With the advent of Instagram and online expressions of affection, we’ve completely forgotten about what really matters and makes someone feel special — that personal touch! Whether it’s a video call to check in, a phone call to say I miss you or a message that goes beyond saying “Happy Birthday, have a great day!”, these are the things that are slowly disappearing from our everyday lives. I understand that there will always be some people who go over and above for me like my family and handful of closest friends; so is it silly to expect anything at all from those outside of that circle?

There are so many instances that push us toward the realisation that those you thought were very close to you, perhaps don’t view your relationship in the same way. Or maybe they just don’t think the things you feel are important are as important but truly do value your friendship. Whatever it might be, these are all great lessons in helping us learn to manage our expectations. It’s also essential to take this time to appreciate those you do put in the effort and show you that they care, and not focus on the negative! Perhaps the love that you have in your life already is enough to make up for those who aren’t as forthcoming.