I’ve Recovered from COVID-19, Now What?
India is in the midst of the worst coronavirus pandemic this world has seen. With millions infected and thousands dead, living here is not only personally scary but existentially. Everywhere you look, the effects of this deadly virus are yelling at the top of their lungs.
Luckily, the only places we’re able to visit exist online so we hear about friends losing family members, see hundreds of requests and posts for blood plasma, oxygen and hospital beds each day, and then go to bed safe and sound.
Having recently recovered from COVID-19, I can attest to the fact that this is something that goes beyond physical illness. It’s so easy to get sucked into a spiral of negative thinking, and each shiver and broken breath begins to feel like your last. Not to be dramatic, my symptoms were very mild compared to many people, however, there is always a lingering fear of this unknown force that has taken over your body. A power that is beyond science and understanding, and can essentially do what it likes, without you even knowing.
Now, three weeks after testing positive, I listen to others share their stories. I’ve heard of someone who hasn’t gotten her smell or taste back after 14 months and others who six months later, still can’t get through a workout without losing their breath. I was never paranoid about this pandemic and quite enjoyed the first lockdown we went through. Looking at it like something that just had to happen before we turned a corner and found the light we were all so desperately hoping for. Now, however, as India sits on the crest (or so they say) of a strong second wave, it dawns upon me that this isn’t some transient phase of life. This is life.
For the next many years, we will continue to live in if not fear, at least the knowledge that we might fall sick at any moment. That our parents and friends might do the same, and that we have no control over our own bodies. It’s a feeling that really brings you down to earth, and makes you so aware of exactly what you are and are not capable of. I don’t think there is anything new that can be said about this pandemic, but one thing I have realised is how important it is to speak up. To say what you feel and forget about being polite. To be yourself and do the things that make you happy, or at least figure out what those things are.
We’ve spent so much time feeling sorry for ourselves and complaining about what we’re going through, that perhaps now it’s time to shake it off and move toward something productive. For me, I’ve been unable to write anything through the pandemic, not because I’ve been feeling anything too deeply but because I’m not really feeling much at all. So no matter how you’ve been feeling lately, try to find those few things that get you through the day or week and give those your energy.
